Hello

     The world became a little better place on November 2, 1952, the day Marla Bernier was born. She was born in the Bronx NY and spent her first 29 years there.  There she formed many lifelong friendships and became a very strong young woman.  I didn't know her until she moved to California in 1981, others who did know her then can speak to the person she was in those days.  I know that as a young girl she wanted to be a Nun, and later as a young lady she wanted to be a police person, but the test included an obstacle course, and that's where that job was no longer desirable, too bad for them, she probably would have been a great cop.
     3 days before she ascended from this mortal plane, on her final Mother's Day, she received a card that had BRAVE  STRONG & BEAUTIFUL on it.  Those words were perfect in describing Marla.  How does one write a eulogy for such an amazing person?
     BRAVE - She could not be intimidated, even though only 5 feet tall, she could stand up to any task or person.  She showed no fear, but was not wreckless, because she was wisely careful.  She could swim far out into the ocean, scaring me, but not her.  It was always amazing for me to watch her, because no matter what, she was never intimidated.  After she passed I found a note she had written to herself about having the courage to be strong through this and set a good example for her family.  She was always thinking of others. She marched for women's rights until she couldn't physically do it.
     There was one thing, driving a car scared her a great deal, only because she did not want to hurt anyone.  But that was truly the only thing she was afraid of, and it was because of her love for others.
     STRONG - Without her help, we wouldn't have been able to accomplish what we did, she was a tough. and had a noble presence.  She built gardens, repaired furniture and painted. She took apart tools and fixed them, she dug the earth in some very tough areas, planting trees and a wide variety of plants. She raised 4 lovely daughters.  She possessed a noble presence.  There was an inner strength also, you could feel it in her presence.  She could not be easily influenced.  She was mentally and physically as strong as any woman I've known.  
     BEAUTIFUL - Of course I always thought she was beautiful, she had it naturally.  Early in our life together, I came home from work on Halloween and she was getting the girls ready for trick or treating, and herself too.  As I walked in and turned to see her, I was stunned, she was ravishingly gorgeous. She was made up as a gypsy, and I had never really seen her all made up like that and "WOW!"  I said something like: maybe you should go get a facial and full makeup job more often and she laughed because she didn't really like it, she said it's not me, and well that was ok too because she was so naturally beautiful.  At her nephew's wedding, she went early and was helping, when I got there, I'm looking around the room and don't see her, asked someone where she was, they looked back at me funny and said right there.  She had her hair done by her stepson (a pro) and it was all up on top of her head, beautifully done, she was once again all decked out and I was stunned again.  I was an extremely lucky man.
     Marla's compassion for people in general was inspirational. She wanted all around her to be comfortable, happy and fed.  She strived to be an excellent host or guest.  She truly worked very hard at unconditionally loving all people, no matter who or what standing in life you had.  The first time I ever saw her cry, was because she felt she hadn't been loving enough when giving a Thanksgiving dinner to a family.  That was her, always striving for unconditional love.  If you were one of the very few that she didn't like, you probably did something she couldn't forgive.  When she was diagnosed, we talked about what to do and see to get off her bucket list, she only wanted to see what I wanted to see, she always thought of others before herself.  
     She had a way of bringing out the best in all of us, she had it inherently and you just felt it, and you didn't want to let her down, due to her commanding presence.
     There were times when I would be out shopping and see something nice and get it for her, bring it to her and many times she would say " I know who would like this" and would give it to them.  We would have conversations about allowing others to give to you so they can feel good, so she'd accept them occasionally, but often gave them to others.  if you saw her in thought, then most likely she was thinking (or worrying) about others with needs.  She rarely "wanted" and always gave more than she took.
     She loved to laugh and laugh heartily.  She was full of joy and usually was smiling or laughing. Even though a hard worker, she also loved to have fun.  Fun for her was many things, serving others, outdoor activities, music concerts, and children at the top of the list.  She could get on the phone for hours with any of her friends and laugh for hours.  She loved the outdoors, especially the beach.
     Children were her biggest passion, she could give time to a child or a group of children all day, without thinking of herself.  She had that unique capability of endlessly giving her time, and time with Marla was valuable.  As she grew her patience and tolerance grew to where she was absolutely amazing with children.  In our early years together, I saw her with all the children in the neighborhood often at her place, where she nurtured all, made sure they were comfortable and having fun as kids do or being creative with fun projects, and on top of that, she fed them all. Some days she might have only a little food there, but she always made it work and kept all their bellies full.  It was the first miracle I saw her pull off, so I nicknamed her Ma Sup, short for Mother Superior,  and that later morphed into Mars for a few close friends, and Ma eventually which evolved as a result of our grandchildren, and other family members started using it too, they were all terms of endearment and respect for the great lady she was and what she meant to everyone.
     She affected the lives of hundreds, if not more over the years in Cambrian School District, in her neighborhood, her friends, and in her family afar and at home.  There were many who loved her, and listened to her and came to her for advice.  She gave freely in translating for Spanish speaking families, and absolutely loved helping out wherever she could.  Her work ethic was tops.  She was loved because she was honest, honorable, reliable, and full of integrity. These traits you do not find so common in today's world.  In her final years she wanted only to spend as much time as she could with her grandchildren.
     Marla loved music and dancing, together we saw many concerts, from the San Jose Symphony to the Grateful Dead and all types in between.  She was a great dancer, due to her family, heritage, genetics and clubbing back in the Bronx.  One Christmas party, one of my fellow workers who was a disco clubber came and asked her to dance, they tore the floor up and she was in step the whole time, she was a very talented lady.  
     I knew her for the 40 years she was in California, and I consider myself the luckiest man on earth to have shared a life with her for 36 of those years.
     Again, how does one write a eulogy for such an amazing person? No matter how many words you use or how good they are, the person is always so much more, and she was bigger than life itself.  
     It feels like a crime to me that she had to get this horrible disease, she did not deserve this, not one bit.
     So I ask you, what is the criteria for a Saint?  In my book, she is a saint, sent straight from Heaven.  Marla is the kind of person that is truly deserving of that Title, in my book she's my Angel.
     I do consider her a true Saint,  and may you rest in peace my precious love.